【翻譯系列】一個26歲的外國小伙戒色500天總結

譯者按:戒色一周年,雖然戒得不是很完美,但為了感謝貼吧的前輩以及幫助戒色新人,即日起在學習英語之餘為大家翻譯國外戒色網站的優秀文章,希望大家喜歡!

說明:

NF=nofap,戒擼運動
Age 26 – 500 days: I*m finally in a relationship unlike any I*ve ever been
26歲-500天:我最終進入一種我從來都沒有過的狀態

雙喜臨門,我從來沒有聽說過NF(戒擼運動),第一次是我的一位朋友告訴我這個網頁.他也是無意識地被(邪淫)絆倒。我的第一反應是:作為一個男人,我再也不會手淫了,同時暗自期盼我可以。

從沒開始禁慾的前幾個月,我持續地試着擺脫邪淫,但是從來都沒有超過3-5天,我沒有意識到我已經成癮。我已經明確地知道我不想再手淫了,我能夠停下來。
事實證明(戒除手淫)比我想的難多了。

在我為了獲得徽章註冊之前,我花了差不多一個月時間瀏覽NF,將我的邪淫史發佈到網上。那是在一個無所事事的周末之前的一個星期五,我將最有用的(戒色)忠告列了一個清單,我將在清單後面繼續寫下去,幫助我安全度過周末或者更遠,但是從那以後我再也沒有看過(這個清單)。由於我欠了對大家的感恩之情,我要感激你們這些男孩女孩,我願意分享我的經歷,以期望幫助其他像我一樣為這個問題而掙扎的小夥伴們。如果這篇帖子能給你一點獲得勳章的動力,亦或是能堅持90天(類似於我們的百日築基),甚至只幫助了一個人,我也願意做這件事情。

在你決定做出「我不能再擼了」的挑戰」之前,讓我告訴你禁慾正確(我們所說的無害論荒謬)的真相。或者只是告訴你你所經歷的每一天你應該如何去思考。這會讓你感覺太真實以至於你你會決心戒擼。邪淫可以成癮,你會經歷情緒的跌宕起伏和進入萬丈深淵。真相就是:今天,一個擼管者可以像一個正常人一樣征服一座他從來沒有到過的高山。剛開始,很難甚至不可能突破「魔幻」90天,但是如果你每次前進一小步,你的肌肉,你的意志力(飛翔哥說的定力)將會增長,直到戰勝它成為可能。這就是為什麼我所能告你的最好的建議就是一步一腳印,堅持不懈。不要將你現在做的事情看作是為了達到90天的戰爭(不要將天數看作是目標),那樣對你來說太難堅持。要明白,你現在做的事情僅僅是在改過自新。當心魔(urge翻譯為飛翔哥說的心魔)來臨,你要說不!咆哮着(將頭)埋進枕頭,在枕頭裡怒吼!將這些念頭趕走!讓你自己分心!你要回想,如果沒有手淫,你現在該多好!如果再復擼,你將要損失多少啊!即使重新開始或許你都無法打贏這張戰爭!你不要讓心魔為所欲為!第一次,每一次心魔來臨你都要說不!這就是戒擼!不是重複的90天給你力量,這是一種微妙的生活方式的改變,無論心魔何時來臨,要平靜的說一聲「不!」,試着去堅持下來。

在開始的幾個月,要學會轉移注意力。 就像在山上的男人,你仍然在增長你的定力去戰勝(邪淫)。所以千萬不要讓自滿自傲干擾你,讓你覺得你足夠強大,結果一擼回到解放前。有一天你會有(足夠的定力),但不是現在。你要集聚你所有的業餘時間、精力和信心,沿着NF上的戒色前輩的方法讓你自己全神貫注。開始的幾周確實是一場轉移注意力的戰爭。(我強烈推薦 打開DNS或者其他網頁形式的過濾服務,尤其是如果它在新的設置起效之前有一個3分鐘的延期。用這種方式,即使你有所猶豫,3分鐘會給你足夠的時間去意識到你不應該那樣做,然後解除設置)

同樣地,對於NF(上的建議)最難達到的是去想像你從來都沒有擼過?。一旦你看到:「wow,我已戒掉80或者100天,我真棒!」這樣的盲目自信會將你絆倒。每天,對我最有用的事情就是對自己說「X 天已是過去, Y 天才是未來」.從來不要看過去的X天,要牢記未來的Y天。即使你又戒了一天,你還是什麼都沒有做。即使你已經達到你的目標,你的自由來自於你的警覺。(飛翔哥說的即使戒除好幾年,仍然如履薄冰)。就像其他習慣一樣,隨着時間的推移,這種意識將會越來越容易保持。(飛翔哥說的進入穩定期,煎熬感消失)。
(翻譯到這裡,對飛翔哥充滿無限的敬意,飛翔哥寫過:這是一場關於念頭的戰爭,)

儘管一些人說,禁慾未必使你進入自信和能力的天堂,即使剛開始的一個月,感覺確實是這樣的。禁慾能給你的是更多的對自我生活的控制。這有點像從青春期到成年的過渡。這不是
神經衝動的外相,你能夠帶着你的本能和初心學會自我剋制和保持警覺,這會滲入到你生活的方方面面,讓你的生活隨你掌控。

儘管一些人說,禁慾未必使你進入自信和能力的天堂,即使剛開始的一個月,感覺確實是這樣的。禁慾能給你的是更多的對自我生活的控制。這有點像從青春期到成年的過渡。這不是
神經衝動的外相,你能夠帶着你的本能和初心學會自我剋制和保持警覺,這會滲入到你生活的方方面面,讓你的生活隨你掌控。

現在我已經進入一種我從來都沒有過的狀態,因為我最終可以把我的另一半看作是另外一個人而不是有時看作是發泄的對象(這種警覺的水平步入正軌,幫助改善關係,自從你現在直接知道你自己的慾望並沒有想像的那麼重要,你可以對自己的慾望說不,先去完成其他的事情),現在我一直努力地提升我自己,而不僅僅是期望我可以!

所有這一切都來自於500天的戒色,這是人類所期望壽命的超過百分之一的時間。
譯者按:由於英語水平很有限,本着不求甚解的態度,翻譯的問題很多,有的不是很嚴格,以後隨着英語水平提高我會改進的,下面附上原文,戒友們可以順便學習英語。

Age 26 – 500 days: I*m finally in a relationship unlike any I*ve ever been

Submitted by admin on Sun, 10/06/2013 – 12:19
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Happy couple .The first time I had ever heard about NF was when a redditor friend of mine showed me this page he had randomly stumbled upon. My reaction was to admit “oh, man I could never do that”, while secretly wishing I could.

For months before NF, I had been trying to quit continuously, but never got past 3 to 5 days. And I didn*t think I was addicted, I had just figured if I don*t want to do it I should be able to stop.

It proved to be much harder than that.

It took me just over a good month of reading NF and getting my affairs into order before I registered for a badge. That day was a Friday of all days, right before a long weekend with little to do. I*ve already made a post on extremely helpful tips that I*ll link at the bottom of this one that got me through that weekend and beyond, but after that day I didn*t look back. And it*s because of the enormous debt of gratitude that I owe to you guys and gals that I wanted to share my experiences in the hopes of giving back to others struggling with this same problem. If this post gives that last bit of motivation to get a badge, or to stick out the full 90 days for sure, to even one person, it will have done its job.

Let me tell you the truth about NF right when you decide to take the challenge : you won*t be able to do it. Or, at least, that*s what you*re going to think every single day that you are doing it, and it*ll feel so true that you just can*t take it any more. It is an addiction, and you will be going through the emotional ups and downs and downs of withdrawal. The truth is a day one fapstronaut is like a man setting out to climb a tall mountain who has never walked before that day. At first it will be impossible and too much to get to the “magical” 90 day mark, but as you walk a little bit more each time your muscles, your willpower, will grow and it will become possible. That is why the best advice I can give you is to take it one day at a time, always. Don*t look at what you*re doing as fighting a war to quit for 90 days, then it seems too big to take on. Realize that what you*re doing is just saying no once. When that urge comes up, you say no, you scream into a pillow, you scream internally, you throw those thoughts away, you distract yourself, you realize how much better you*ve done without it and how much you have to lose going back and starting over and maybe not even getting this far, and you don*t let that urge go anywhere. You say no, that one time, and you do that every one time that it comes up. That*s it. Not 90 days of constant will power, just a subtle lifestyle change, a quiet “no” whenever the random desire flickers up and tries to take hold.

And for the first few months, by god, do distract yourself. Like the man at the mountain, you*re still developing your willpower to fight it, so never let arrogance convince you to edge or that you*re strong enough to go there a little and come back. One day you might be, but not just yet. So put all that extra time and energy and confidence that comes with starting NF to use on other ventures to keep yourself preoccupied. The first few weeks are really a battle of distraction. (I highly recommend OpenDNS or some other kind of web filtering service, especially if it comes with a 3 minute delay before new settings take effect. That way, even if you falter, the 3 minutes give you enough time to realize you really don*t want to do this, and unset those settings. )

Likewise the hardest thing to accept about NF is to never think you*re done. Once you look at “wow, I*ve already gone 80, or 100, days, I*m so great” the false confidence will trip you up. The most helpful thing for me has been to, every day, say to myself “X days down, Y days to go”. You never look at the X without the Y. Even if you*re a day away, you*re still not done. Even if you*ve met your goal, your freedom from those chains is guaranteed only by your vigilance. Which, just like any habit, becomes much, much easier with time the longer you stick to it.

Despite what some people say, NF will not make you into a god of confidence and ability, although for the first few months it*ll really feel like that. What NF will do is give you more control of your own life. It*s a little bit like the transition from adolescence to adulthood. Instead of acting on impulse, you*ll be learning self-restraint and mindfulness with one of the most primal instincts, which will flow over into every part of your life and make your life*s decisions be entirely up to you.

When I started this 500 days ago, I had trouble concentrating; I couldn*t commit to a goal for more than a week at a time. Whenever I*d have a day off, it*d be wasted in lazy indulgence and nothing more, knowing that I COULD be doing more with my time and that I wasn*t. Now I can handle 50, 60 hour work weeks regularly without even noticing it, now I*ve been able to make the choice to exercise regularly and stick to it.

Now I*m in a relationship unlike any I*ve ever been in because I can finally treat my partner as another human being rather than sometimes as an object of desire (and that degree of mindfulness goes a long way with helping relationships, since you now know firsthand that your own desires aren*t as important as they make themselves out to be, that you can say no to them to put others first); now I*m constantly working on improving myself instead of just wishing I could.

And all this from doing NF for just over 1% of the average expected lifespan I have ahead of me. That*s the difference NF makes, and that*s the difference I hope for all of you.

For a list of tips and tools to get you through those 90 days, here is my post on what pushed me through it: https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/ydols/26yo_m_virgin_ju

文中觀點僅代表作者個人看法,請自行鑒別吸收。

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